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People have speculated about it for years and years, and today new evidence was revealed that strongly suggests The Polyphonic Spree are actually a cult.
A source high-up in the Kool-Aid organization has admitted that they are in fact secretly sponsoring the band and all of their activities. Not only that, but as part of said sponsorship members are entitled to as much of the powdered fruit drink as they'd like for free.

"I didn't think it was possible, but apparently they're all drinking the Kool-Aid," said Richard Milton, head of the Anti-Cult Movement (ACM).

24 February 2008 @ 02:22 pm

CultNews congratulates “Anonymous,” Scientology’s latest Internet nemesis, with the notable exception of its distributed denial of service (DDOS) attacks at Scientology Web sites.

The Anonymous movement managed to turn out the largest protest through picketing ever coordinated against Scientology.

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28 January 2008 @ 06:35 pm
01 December 2007 @ 09:54 am
One of the great things about being a famous rapper and cult expert is that, since no one will admit to being a cult, no one can prove that I'm not an expert. It's almost exactly like claiming to speak for god, because somehow God never shows up to prove otherwise. If I say you're the devil, you're the devil for now, and that is enough for folks to ignore my feet of clay. If a single attorney can convince one judge that I have special knowledge I am declared an official "expert witness" and with a web site and a bit of good old-fashioned schmoozing, I have parlayed that into it a pretty nice payday. I'm no Xavier Von Erck but I get by.

The entire "expert" thing, though, is a double-edged sword, and one that I handle by never going into battle. Sure I may get paid to be some lawyer's butt-boy before viagra-popping judges, but real debate such as academic experts face is something I just don't do. Instead I use the terms and phrases of the academy and social sciences to sound more authoritative to people who crave authority. They crave confirmation of their prejudices more than truth, so scams such as life coaching, Robert Kiyosaki's "rich dad" schtick and "bible colleges" abound. With parents so cheap they prefer to let their kids bang the bible than attend real schools, I get to make money throwing red meat to curs. I don't advocate violence or endorse any religions explicitly, but you understand how it is.

The first trick of any good parasite is to never kill the host. That was Jim Jones' great mistake, and one that true religious parasites understand.

There is much more money in teaching Krav Maga or Tae Kwon Do than in prize-fighting, especially when you are skinny or weak.

Of course you are right. Of course you are smart. Of course all therapists are skilled. Of course your religion is good. For a small fee I will even tell you this online, in your church, on the stand or from the tee-vee.
24 November 2007 @ 10:42 pm
CENTERTON, Ark. -- The mayor of an Arkansas town resigned on Wednesday, claiming he was abducted and brainwashed by Satan worshippers nearly three decades ago.

Centerton Mayor Ken Williams said he has been living under an assumed name for nearly 30 years. He had been mayor since 2001.

Williams told authorities he was born Don LaRose and that in the mid-1970s, he was a preacher in Indiana. He said he was abducted and brainwashed into forgetting all about his life as Don LaRose.

Golly, but I hate it when that happens. I just hope he finds the courage to tell his story so that I can get back on teevee.

How can you people not believe in brainwashing now, eh? Is that enough proof for you?

Apologists! Trolls!
25 October 2007 @ 05:32 pm
05 October 2007 @ 05:38 pm
It was a really good week for me this week, and looks to be a profitable month. A story about The Mankind Project got picked up by The Houston Press and featured a great quote that should drive a lot of traffic to the LGAT section of my web site, which is hilarious, because MKP isn't even a real LGAT. Given that HP is a Village Voice newspaper this article may get picked by those pompous pricks across the river and lead to some serious interviews and speaking engagements among those evangelical goyim, and probably some good gigs as an expert witness. It is in Texas this time, which I loathe, but with all the churches down there I should be able to bunch trips, double or triple-charge for the airfare and enjoy some cable teevee at the hotel.

These MKP folks are really turning out to be useful for me, and the winged monkeys from my boards are doing a great job of spreading the word. The MKP thread is by far the best draw I have, pulling in almost a thousand replies and over 100,000 hits. Sweet! All I need now is for someone from MKP to sue me, if only they had any more money than me.

After that 1993 business in Waco, Texas has left a bad taste in my mouth, so it will be good to go back in triumph and make a few bucks off of a relapsed coke-head and his mackerel-snapping parents. Thank you Allah, Jesus and G-d for the Scintos. Ka-ching!

Michael Scinto killed himself and now I and the lawyers get paid off his suicide. Hey-ho Houston, here I come!
24 September 2007 @ 08:48 am
One of the great things about being a cult expert is that I don't have to do a lot of work. Like the night-shift guy at the Star Ledger I just watch my automated search queries as if they were the AP wire and then pick and choose which stories to post on, providing a paragraph or three of links to someone else's work and pretending that is work on my part. Since most of my clientele seems to be close-minded religionists, critical thought isn't really necessary; I just read the client and tell them what they want to hear with a few footnotes to seem worldly, collect my fee and head on out. The DVD sales aren't going was well as I would like, but perhaps it is the production values. I should really phone the famous Rick Ross and see if I can borrow a few of his videographers. Maybe if I sampled a few of his tracks and used abusive language I could sell more of this stuff. Should I assemble a special "bible study group" package? Bundle the videos with some photocopies and pass it off as an adult education course, perhaps? I'll need to make a note of that in my PDA when Star Trek is over...

The boards are going really well. Talk about outsourcing! I have to pretend to be a few regulars to keep it active, but like a lazy graduate professor I have winged monkeys and crackpot minions who do all the work. They can post stuff and I get to sidestep the copyright laws, and then I assemble a bunch of old news stories and the rubes who read my site think I wrote it all.

I just have time for another bowl of fruit loops before Star Trek Voyager begins...
09 August 2007 @ 07:24 pm
It has been a hard week here in anti-cult land. After spending hours reading Google alerts for stories I could snarf and regurgitate for my CultNews.com blog I barely had time to look at some cute boy-porn when my cutting-edge world headquarters was attacked by spambots. As if that wasn't enough some dickwad revived the same old tired arguments against 1950's brainwashing rumors and some middle-aged guy in Arizona claimed I didn't know what I was talking about. Then that RickRossIsAdick.com guy made fun of me on Wickedpedia so I had to go all John Mackey on his ass and defend my good name.

Can't a fella just enjoy a few Cher records in peace? I want a hot dog.

It's almost enough to make me want to get a real job.
29 June 2007 @ 12:12 pm
Central to the concept of anti-cult activism is the concept of "brainwashing," a term which first gained popularity in the early 1950's as a sinister, Oriental technique used by the atheistic, communist Chinese during the Korean War. The idea spread throughout the culture and (like hypnosis over a century before) made it out into the general culture and was featured in such movies as the 1962 film "The Manchurian Candidate" with Frank Sinatra.

In 1894, the popular sensation was George du Maurier's "Trilby," which featured an evil, Jewish hypnotist named Svengali, who used his occult powers to seduce young, white Christian women. The basic storyline of the anti-cult activists is the same: sinister foreigners seek to draw away innocent youth and manipulate them for their own evil purposes.

The terms used for "brainwashing" vary somewhat, with more precise language being used in academic, psychological or semi-scientific treatments. Anti-cult activists may use such terms, but essentially they mean "brainwashing" in the same sense that Svengali used hypnosis.

Among the differing treatments of this idea which may or may not be used by anticult activists are Janja Lalich's "bounded choice" theory, Margaret Singer's "psychological coercion," Robert Jay Lifton's "thought reform" or sensationalistic treatments such as Flo Conway and Jim Siegelman's 1978 book "Snapping: America's Epidemic of Sudden Personality Change."

Whatever the term, a central tenet of the anti-cultists is that something has been done to an innocent person, as if the person were an object which sustains property damage. To the extent that the person is an object, it can be owned, and is seen as the property of the family, church or ethnic group: a valuable item essentially stolen or vandalized by the evil cult.

People involved in such "cults" are rarely treated as adults, considered capable of making their own decisions and choosing their own religious beliefs, and certainly the religious beliefs or doctrinal assumptions of the anti-cult activists are above suspicion, and involve no "thought reform," "bounded choice," "psychological coercion" or "deceptive and indirect methods of persuasion and control."

The game of religion is not wrong to the anti-cult activist, so long as one is playing on the anti-cult activist's side. The primary sin of those they attack is having left the fold or questioned the authority and infallibility of mother church, their owners or parents.